


close to you

by earlydusk



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 21:33:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18290660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earlydusk/pseuds/earlydusk
Summary: there isn't much he can do, but at least Yunho is not alone





	close to you

**Author's Note:**

> Who remembers when Changmin thought Heisei era would end at the end of 2018? Adorable 🙈 but now it's really almost the end. Would he comment on it during THE GARDEN ?
> 
> p/s The title is 'close to you' but ironically I was listening to U KNOW Y while writing this (with 繋がれた舟 (Yunho's voice along with the painful lyrics making me feel unspeakable emotions 😔) on repeat)

Usually when they got back from oversea schedule, they would return to their own place but when Changmin offers for him to go back to his flat, Yunho gratefully accepts the offer. They both aim for the bed after they are done with taking a quick shower and call it a day.

He wakes up alone on the bed past with the knowledge that dusk has taken place from what can be seen outside of the window. After freshening up, he walks to the kitchen knowing fully well that is the one place where he can find his partner. 

True to his guess, Changmin has just done with cooking when he enters the area. He thought Changmin was just making some ramen but he is surprised to see several dishes already neatly prepared on the table. He is about to slip away quietly when Changmin acknowledges his presence without turning away from the sink.

“Hyung, can you put the rice into bowls for us?”

After prepping the bowl, he sneakily fills in different amount of rice into each of it without making it obvious. He immediately place it in front of their usual seat and help Changmin with the cleaning. It doesn’t long before they are done but when they return to the table Changmin is first to sit at his usual spot. Yunho is left staring at him before he slowly takes the other seat.

“Changdol, here, take this bowl. I filled this one extra packed just for you.” 

He is already holding out the bowl and tries to reach out for the one in front of Changmin, desperate to exchange their bowls. Unfortunately he is not fast enough when Changmin has poked the ‘mountain’ of rice before he could take it away from him and it’s revealed that its previous shape is just a trick to the eyes. Wordlessly, he got up with the bowl and return seconds later with full bowl.

“Eat up. Didn’t you say these are your favourites in our preview interviews?”

Yunho eagerly agrees and starts to praise and thank him for the food. After several bites, he told Changmin about wanting to get himself a glass of cold water from the kitchen but once again his younger bandmate beats him to it. Not only Changmin brings back a glass of water to the table, he even got a jug of cold water complete with ice along.

“Why don’t you eat more? Don’t worry, I cooked enough portions for both of us.”

Just like that, he sees his bowl is stacked with different dishes at once.

“Changmin, it’s okay. This is enough, also I’m still full.”

“How can you be full when you don’t eat anything today? I think the only thing you had today was that glass of juice when we were at the airport.”

Yunho internally winces at the string of facts. Truthfully, he even still remembers the feel when he emptied the juice under Changmin’s watchful gaze.

“Does my cooking taste bad?”

“No! It’s not that. Your cooking is as amazing as ever. Maybe I still feel unwell from the amount of food I ate last night.”

Changmin deadpan stares at him before he drinks he pours another glass of water and fills it to the brim before drinking it all down.

“You didn’t eat that much last night. In fact, I never see you eat anything much for so long already. Please, hyung, can you just eat properly with me this time?”

He can hear desperation in the pleading when he sees the hurt in those eyes, he immediately approaches Changmin to hug him to chase away the sadness that is making its way inside the other.

“Ssh, I understand. I’ll eat now so don’t worry. Don’t be like this, who will eat with me if you’re sad.”

Yunho strokes the back of his head gently while using other hand to run his palm on the younger’s back, trying to calm him down. They stay like that for a while before Changmin leans back and pushes him away. After assessing the looks on his face, Yunho returns to his seat and they continue to eat without any more words. He accepts it everytime Changmin adds on the dishes for him. Between both of them, they manage to finish the food though with a bit of struggle on Yunho’s part.

After helping by doing the dishes, Changmin asks him to get back to the dining table to talk. They take the chairs nearest to each other this time.

“Hyung, I didn’t say anything before because I know it means a lot to you but I think it’s getting out of hand now. If I were to ask you to at least ton down on the diet, would you do it?”

Yunho does know that his eating habit has long worries other around him but other than a few words of advice, there is not much they can do. He often says that he would watch out for his health everytime there is concerned voices tells him to be careful.

“Changmin, it’s okay. You see it yourself, I’m fine. It doesn’t affect my daily activities or works, is it not?”

He pulls Changmin smaller hand, something he found adorable which is quite contrary to his height, and squeeze it lightly.

“I know better than others about how it feels, hyung. Didn’t you often worry over me back then when I went crazy on the diet? Yes, I did it because of the comments from the public but there’s not many who knows the struggle behind it. Now that I’m in your shoes, I know how you felt before. Let’s go easy on yourself, alright?”

Yunho remembers on stumbling upon the comments about Changmin that year, especially on one specific article. He was attending a premiere for a movie but the online comments were discussing about his weight and looks. The bad side on technology is that everyone has their enjoyment in other behind their screens without knowing how it is received their targets. No matter how much he wants to protect Chamgmin, he was bound to see the comments himself and from that time, he did everything and lose a lot of weight in short amount of time.

Back then, Changmin was a dear bandmate to him but now he is the person who is the closest to him in every aspect. Even since before, he almost could not deny Changmin of anything, not that he always asks much despite that privilege.

“Changmin…”

“Hyung. I’m not asking this for myself. I want you to do it for you, not anyone else. Didn’t you feel happy whenever I stop my diet and eats regularly? It’s the same for me. You don’t have to completely stop but please, at least have proper meal on time.”

Now it is Changmin who is holding on Yunho’s hands, gripping tightly on them. He sighs remembering all the dark thoughts he have whenever he tries to eat a little bit more. The taunting in his mind is louder than the worried voice from his friends so it makes it difficult for him to stop. He tells Changmin exactly that and the younger clings on his like he would to a lifeline.

“Hyung, you were fine then as you are fine now. You don’t have to lose more weight to be any better. You are U-know Yunho, you are already the best from the start.”

Though he laughs at his own words, Yunho can feel Changmin is literally trembling in his arms. If there is one person he can’t bear to disappoint, it is the man in his arms. The strongest person even when he hurts a lot. The most loyal even when he doesn’t speak much. The kindest even when he doesn’t show it. 

“Changminnie, stop crying.”

“I’m not!”

“You know that I can feel your tears even if I can’t see your face, right?”

After letting Changmin wipes his tears, Yunho put a distant on them to look at his face. There’s still traces on tears which he gently thumbs away. He places a soft kiss at the corner of his eyes, where he can see the trail from lone tear.

“I’ll try to be better. I’ll tell the managers to force me to eat more, okay?”

Yunho wants to remove the heavy feelings draping on them, and when there’s change on emotion flashing on Changmin, he smiles even more to lift up the mood.

“I’ll text, no -call, I'll call to remind them when we have separate schedules. And when we are together, I’ll try to cook more often when we got home, whether at my place or yours. Also, I’ll remind the manager to buy the groceries for our apartment in Japan. And –“

Finally Yunho laughs at the determination firing in each of his sentence. It’s rare for him to see this Changmin outside of work.

“I think I got it. I don’t have to worry as long as you’re by my side.”

“And you’ll get real help if it doesn’t work out, right?”

Yunho smiles bitterly at that. He knows he need to make real effort to change, and it probably isn’t as easy as he hopes. Leaning into Changmin to borrow a fraction of his strength, he closes his eyes trying to turn a deaf ear on the voices at least for that night.

“Of course. Just be my anchor to help me stay strong if that time ever comes.”

“Always, hyung.”

**Author's Note:**

> funny story when my friend thought I have a new account when they found the same username like I have here on Twitter 😂 talk about coincidence, I just picked random things I saw when choosing this name. Well my @ is more embarrassing though :p


End file.
